


Quadrant Fuckery

by The_Stuckness



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Anal Sex, Drunken Stupor, M/M, Oral Sex, Other, Smut, Threesome, Underage - Freeform, cake threat, handjobs, homoerotic actions, homoerotic behaviors, horn play, quadrant mishaps, sex dodging
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-03
Updated: 2014-04-11
Packaged: 2018-01-18 02:04:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1410925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Stuckness/pseuds/The_Stuckness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John Egbert has won the game, but at a price. Earth gets to come back, and all his friends survive. What could ruin such a great deal? How about the fact that John can't go back to Earth with them? Being stuck on a meteor with all the trolls weren't his idea of fun, but he doesn't seem to mind with the quadrant proposal his best troll friend gives him. Or at least, shows him. Whatever these quadrant things were anyways. . . </p>
<p>(Other Pairings Throughout It) Just a mixture of ships and pure quadrant fuckery.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Who knew?

**Author's Note:**

> I am so sorry. This might be extremely off, but I really like a John that's both straight forward and shy. It's my personal headcannon, please forgive me if it's not what you imagine.

Karkat Vantas was an honest troll, sure his honesty was explosive, but it was there. Most of the time. 

-

Your name is John Egbert and you are staring at you kinda best friend in the most puzzled manner. He just told you he wanted something you weren't sure you could give. Sharing a bed with him instead of sleeping on the floor was a bit much, but he seemed so flustered just trying to ask. His face turning a shade that betrays his “secret” blood color. You wet your mouth and raise a brow at him, almost choking on your own voice. 

“What?” He looks away and surprisingly, its almost cute. 

“Will you share a goddamn bed with me? The floor doesn't look comfortable enough for your wriggler body.” You keep staring at him, hoping you heard right, Karkat assuring this by making room on the mattress. You nod and grab your pillow, climbing onto his bed. He moves right next to the wall, like you're diseased and he doesn't want to catch whatever you have. With a sigh you go to remove yourself from the situation. 

“If you weren't comfortable with it you should have said so....” 

He practically lunges at you, grabbing your wrist. “No, John, please I want you to stay dammit.” He's not looking at you; of course he isn't. Karkat Vantas doesn't just look at people. He pulls you back and suddenly you're looking down at a gray face consumed in red. “F-fuck...” It's like he took the word right out of your mouth. God his face is darkening, almost at a crimson. Suddenly you can't help yourself, admitting that; 'yeah Karkat Vantas is cute.' Your mouth is against his in a moment, too many emotions running over you. 

-

Your name is Karkat Vantas and your best friend is kissing you. When did you even get to redrom? What if this wasn't a red kiss? Dammit was this pale?! It's too weak to be black... Why are you even thinking? Kiss him back, quick. You aren't fast enough and he's off of you in a moment, babbling about how he's sorry and how he doesn't know why he did it. Going on and on about how he's not a homosexual and that he won't do it again. 

“John...” He just keeps going, he's still on top of you but he won't shut up. “John I swear to god.” Yet another protest against homosexuality. “John! I will shove a fucking cake down your throat!” A low growl emits itself from the back of your throat, and then he shuts up, staring down at you; obviously startled. 

“What?” You don't answer him, you just tug him down until your mouths smash together. You don't even care what quadrant this falls under, you just want him. More than you wanted Terezi, more than you hated Sollux, more than you craved Gamzee's sopor filled sloppy makeouts. You wanted this idiotic human in all three of your non-platonic quadrants. You nipped his lips and chirped lowly as he surprisingly took control and snaked his tongue into your mouth. 

-

He's there under you, making the cutest sounds as you rule over his mouth, his hands scrambling for something to grab. Clawed fingers seem to choose your hair, tangling in your dark locks, tugging and pulling in only an urging manner. You can sense his tension slipping away, one of your hands resting on his hip as the other rests by his head. Karkat slowly begins to unwind just from your mouth on his, tongues practically dancing in his mouth. Who knew homoerotic things would be so great? Rose never told you how enjoyable it would actually be. 

You just heard a keen, a distinct keen, and holy shit was that hot. Craving more noises you gripped his hip and move your hand by his head into his hair, your fingers brushing against where his horn connects to flesh. His heartbeat pulses through it, which you didn't suspect to happened, but they seemed awfully sensitive like that. A soft moan flew into your mouth, and you greedily swallow it just as purrs erupt from his chest. You groan at the sound, your shorts suddenly becoming too tight. Your hand on his hip instinctly goes to your pants, trying to get them undone, but Karkat is too fast and sits up, never breaking apart from your mouth. Suddenly he has pushed against the wall. 

He finally releases your lips and begins to trail down your jawline, nipping at your skin lightly as he goes, His mouth is pressed against the crook of your neck and your doing such a great job at being a panting mess. He bites down without warning, just to suck at the skin tenderly afterwards; as if marking you. His hands are quick to find the button of your pants, undoing it easily. Karkat's hand dips into your pants quickly and then slows down, as if confused. Was something wrong? Wait, didn't Rose say that troll anatomy was different? Does he not like what you have to offer? You tense up, worried that this will end. 

Karkat surprises you though; obviously not knowing what he should do, but still willing to try. He palms at your aching erection; slowly at first but begins to do so faster as you let out a few breathy moans, and then buck into his hand, his claws accidentally grazing past comfort. A breath leaking past your teeth at the sensation. 

Suddenly the door opens and you pause, worried. Karkat doesn't seem to hear it past his purring though, that is. . . . until the lispy sound of a bicolored spectacle sounded. 

“Holy thit kk, what the fuck ith happening?!”


	2. Walking in on news...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sollux sees the unseeable and just tries to shrug off the jealousy surfacing.   
> \-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
> Karkat does the unthinkable after shooing out a pesky lisping wonder.

Your name Sollux Captor and you just walked in on the grossest thing you've seen since Eridan stripping at your hive because of reasons that don't need explained. But seeing someone you once called you kismesis getting overly friendly with human anatomy was definitely beating that in gross. You know what's in those pants and thinking that if you stayed away it would be in Karkat at some point was enough to want to die. 

You watch them pull away slowly, Karkat's lips swollen and his hair far messier than you've ever made it. A ping of jealousy rushing through you despite not having the right. You step forward, wondering when he even got a bed. Probably just for John to come and pail him senseless. Fuck why are you thinking about this? You see Karkat fix his shirt and shake his hair out, obviously annoyed with your presence. Serves him right, stupid bulgelicking idiot. 

John shifts on the bed, pulling a pillow to his lap; obviously hiding his human issue. You don't feel at all bad for interrupting their fun. 

“Obviouthly I'm not wanted here, but fithhdick thaid you had a movie you wanted uth to watch.” 

He just nods and gets up, moving to hi vast collection of movies. You knew he didn't trust himself to talk right now, he could never talk when aroused. His voice was only a slur of drippings when he was in this state. You smirk at him as he hands you the movie. 

“Thankth. Now you two... have tonth of fun. Don't forget the bucketth.” 

John nodded and Karkat began to push you out, slurs of angry words spilling from his lips. 

\- 

You're extremely aroused and now pissed off, shoving an overly nosey troll out the door. 

"Stupid fucking... think pan frying... nooknuzzling... fuck him... ugh." 

After getting rid of the pest you look back at John, sighing to express your frustrations. The boy looked at you, still a bit squirmy with the pillow on his lap. 

"I don't think I can pail after that." 

John sighed and moved a little, making room for you to sit beside him. 

"Fine, then at least come here." 

You sit on the bed beside him, resting your head on the wall. 

"Sollux is so fucking stupid." 

John squeezes the pillow between his thighs. You can't stand to see him like this, so you more your hand to the pillow, pulling it away. 

"Let me help you, you dumbass." 

He bites his lip watching as you move your hand in his pants, pulling out his erected cock. You move your hand slowly, his anatomy alien in your palm. The sounds that escape his mouth are utterly delicious though and you move a bit faster, pumping him at a steady pace. More sweet sounds pass his lips and you hungrily seek out his mouth with yours. You swallow his moans as you pump him quickly, letting your rough skin graze the tip. He bucks forward into your hand, and you take your free hand and hold his hip still. John whines into your mouth in protest, and struggles against your hand, but gives up as your clawed fingers break skin. 

His breath turns to panting and nip at his lips hungrily, pumping him at a steady pace, letting him lose himself to your touch. He cries out into your mouth, releasing onto your hand and all over your new sheets. You let go of him and groan, he has made a huge ass mess. He can clean it up, the bed was for him after all. You flop down on the clean part of the bed and look over at the panting mess you was your matesprit. He smiles at you before he drifts off to sleep. The little fucker is leaving HIS mess for you. Fucking great. 

-

Your eyes are getting heavy as you pant heavily. Karkat Vantas just gave you a handjob. You fall asleep wondering how the fuck that even happened.


	3. Dodging Buckets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eridan worries for his matesprite, yet he isn't ready to give him what he wants. Some serious bucket dodging goes down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry not sorry, I don't see Eridan as a desperate fish man. >.>

Your name is Eridan Ampora, and for some reason your matesprit came back to the hive as a flustered mess. You wrap an arm around him, pressing your mouth against his soft, yet wild hair. 

"Wwhat's the matter Sol? You seem a little upset. Evveryfin alright?" 

He nods and moves away from you a bit, his ears yellow right to the tips. Sollux holds out the movie you told him to go get. 

"Yeah you cape infethted dumbath. Jutht take thith." 

You don't remember crossing into blackrom with him, in fact it didn't happen. So he must be upset. 

Suddenly you remember that he once shared a quadrant with the troll you just sent him to. A black quadrant. You fix your glasses and pull your matesprit back protectively, your lips hovering over his yellow tinted ear. 

"Wwhat happened wwith Kar?" 

You can feel him tense up under you and you ask again, only getting a slow head shake from him. He doesn't want to tell you, and it kinda of worries you. 

-

You know your matesprit is worried. It's obvious with how he's holding you. But you can't tell him that KK was going to pail with a human. A human that shouldn't even be here. He should be back on the pathetic planet he won back through the game, but no, since he won he had to pay a price. Stupid Earth comes back and his friends live, but he doesn't get to go back. Idiotic setup. 

But back to Eridan; he seems to be holding you tighter as you keep quiet. Your already enticed bulge is finding this predicament a little much. You just wanted to watch your movie, not pail. Though you'd be lying if you said that's the honest truth. Eridan never goes the whole way, saying that it can be dangerous for low and high bloods to exchange genetic material, but you don't care. Sometimes you want to exchange genetic material with this bulgetease so badly that you hold him down with your psionics, but he always manages to get away. With a quiet sigh you turn to look at him, his face the pure image of worry. Shaking your head you put a hand to his face, kissing him gently. No way will he escape you today. 

-

He's kissing you softly, it's a sweet reassuring kind of kiss. He only tastes like himself, he's clean, and yours. You feel a bit of weight drop off your shoulders and hear the thump of your cape hitting the ground. That sneaky troll has skilled himself in removing your garments. Your scarf is discarded and suddenly he kisses a bit harder. You know what he wants, but you pull away. You can't pail with him just because he comes back aroused. Clearing your throat you smile at him. 

"Wwhat about that movie?" 

-

Now he just pulled some serious hoofbeast shit as KK would say. Suggesting you watch a movie instead of pailing, but you don't have it in you to argue, so you shrug, admitting defeat despite your bulge obviously complaining. 

"Thure."


	4. Sleeping Issues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John tries to stay still, kinda. He swears it. But Karkat is just so sensitive.

John is still sleeping, and no you're not watching him. After you took the time to clean up his mess and tuck away his strange anatomy he clung onto you like a lifeline. Even after you struggled and cursed he held tight. So now you lay still, highly frustrated with his far too warm body temperature. You think he stirs and you quietly pray to his stupid god that he's waking up. He makes a small noise and nuzzles his face into the crook of your neck. Holy fuck is his breath warm. It heats your skin and you shift, still held captive by the nerd around you.

-

He knows you're awake, you know he does. This troll doesn't miss a beat. It wasn't enough to scare you off though. He was warm and oddly comfy, and you didn't want to be awake yet. So you just hold him close and try to breathe lowly as if sleeping. Karkat seems to tense as you breathe onto his neck, who knew he was so sensitive? As you feel him relax you blow onto his neck, causing him to tense up again. You chuckle into his skin and you hear a slight curse. Well, you certainly didn't want to your cover, but you couldn't help it.

"John fucking Egbert..."

You hold him tighter after his words.

"Yes, Kitty?"

You practically purr the nickname out towards him, chuckling after you hear his soft growl. He pushes you away in a somewhat reluctant manner. Wait, reluctant? You don't get the time to think as he leans over you, reaching for his laptop. Whining, you wrap your arms around the waist suspended above you.

"Kityyyyyyyy."

He stops, startled, and looks down at you.

"What the fuck is it? Didn't get enough before your damn nap?"

You blink up at him realizing the blush crawling over his face. Suddenly you blush too, understanding what he meant. You decide to smile and reply in an unexpected way.

"Of course not kitty..."

You croon, nuzzling your face up into his stomach.

"Never enough."

You hear him clear his throat and when you glance up to look at him he's swallowing hard. Karkat Vantas is nervous, and above you. Sometimes you wonder how a guy like him can go and act all tough, but then be nervous when you say things that relate to sex. Karkat Vantas might not be the toughest guy you know afterall. Your best friend from childhood, Dave, was pretty tough, but you knew it was an act. Now you're starting to think its an act for Karkat too. He's shaking and you don't know if it's because he can't hold you both up or because he's having issues. His fingers ghost over his laptop and then he retreats from it, waiting for you to let go. You remove your arms slowly and the next thing you know is he's straddled across your lap, looking down at you completely flushed. You smile up at him, your overbite adding a dorky feature to your attempt at cool. He rolls his eyes and rushes to smash his mouth down against yours.

He's quick to nip at your lips and be pushy. Karkat is all teeth and you have no complaints. (The pain is nice in your opinion.) Your hands travel to his hips, griping tightly as he snakes his tongue into your mouth. As he explores your mouth you explore his clothing, slowly mapping out the easiest way to remove them. You may be incredibly turned on, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't take things slow. After all you don't really know what Karkat is like under his clothes.

You moan lightly as he presses his hands against your already bare chest, his claws digging in as he pulls your tongue into his mouth, sucking on it tentatively. His teeth graze against the muscle and you can swear that it is bleeding in his mouth, which is kinda hot. Small purrs erupt from his chest and he pulls away from your mouth as one of your hands find his horns. Your fingers brush over the fleshy part and he chirps. Trolls make some of the oddest sounds, but it doesn't bother you one bit. The sounds escaping his throat cause your pants constrict you further. With only slightly (or that's all you're willing to admit) eager movements you take both your hands from their current positions and you take them to the hem of his shirt. You pull it up slowly, letting him get the idea to hold his arms up.

After removing his shirt you stare at him quietly. His torso has no nipples and his sides have scars dawned upon them. Brushing your fingers against the darker gray releases a moan from him, giving you a hint as to how sensitive he is. Leaning forward you kiss his chest; it a little awkward with him on your lap. You witness as his chest turns a light red in color, him flushing completely. With a slight groan of frustration he wraps his arms around your neck, pulling your mouths back together. You move your hands down his sides and hook your fingers through his belt loops, tugging slightly. That's when the sound of your laptop comes from across the room. Karkat groans and pushes you against the headboard, but the familiar sound of Pesterchum has you curious. It's been impossible to message anyone but the trolls, and you know they wouldn't message you first. So you push Karkat off gently and crawl away from him. Staring at your computer you mouth goes agape.

 

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 17:23

TG: dude dont do it

TG: dont be like rose with the alien junk

TG: it hentai gone wrong done there

TG: just steer clear bro

 

You type vigorously, completely excited to have contact with your friend, but also curious as to how he knew you were about to engage in sexual actions with Karkat.

 

EB: dave? how were you able to message me? oh god I'm so happy!!!! i miss you bro! :(

EB: oh, and how did you know that... um... i was going to do stuff with Karkat?

TG: yo man calm down

TG: we can see you all

TG: no blind spots dude

TG: and after what i just saw

TG: id say you don't miss me much

EB: no! it's not like that Dave! i miss you a lot... kitty did it! he seduced me!

TG: you think ill believe that

TG: hell no

TG: i watched you seduce him bro

TG: saw it all

TG: your whole package and everything

EB: ew! dave, you watched? bros don't watch bros do the do with other bros.

TG: not like i wanted to egderp

TG: rose and jade held me captive

TG: also

TG: nice blush you got going on

EB: daaaaaaaave! stop watching what I'm doing! all I have is Kitty here.... don't watch anymore!   
  


ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 17:39

  
TG: but dude

TG: well get you back soon

TG: and the trolls

TG: rose wants her gf

TG: oh shit you shut your laptop

TG: bro dont fuck the tentacle monster that is karkat vantas

TG: dont do it man


	5. The Smell of a Stay At Home Bro

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave gets tired being around everyone, so he goes back to the apartment, just to be quietly welcomed by his big brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For my patient friend that has waited for this chapter. ^w^ congrats Jessica, you've been mentioned on a website. <3

Your name is Dave Strider and you are extremely disappointed with your best bro. As soon as he slammed his laptop shut he jumped back onto the spring loaded mattress that a horny troll waited on. Turns out he would never be yours now. All those years with that crush on him out the window. Just because of that stupid game. You already lost your best bro and now, even a year after going home he's still gone. Gone, but also stuck on a meteor, boning a tentacle wielder. You sigh, not letting your frustrations show on your face. Damn John couldn't even hold off getting horny on a meteor.

Soft chuckles sound across the room, so Rose must have gotten in touch with her alien chick. Last night the cameras finally started working and now the communication is great. Thought both Roxy and Sollux deserve all the credit. Sometimes with her drinking habits you forget how smart she could be. Especially with getting ahold of the lispy douchebag. No one thought she could do it, but she managed a stable connection in a day; hacking right into the lispy fuck's laptop. Even with time and space in front of her she's able to accomplish anything. Now with them working together you all might be able to meet again. Dirk is cursing silently to the small robot beside him, and tinkering away at the device meant to bring your best bro back. You just stare at the monitor John is on, noticing how he isn't all over Karkat anymore. The troll is just petting his hair, and they don't seem to be saying anything.

After a few minutes of staring at the monitors you get bored, so you stride to a transportalizer and beam yourself to your apartment building's roof. After flashstepping down the stairs you find yourself opening your apartment door, and getting hit by the scent of cigarettes and cologne. Bro doesn't really leave the house like he used to. Normally he'll just wait for you to come back. If he was more like a house wife you'd have food waiting, but Dirk is the only one with any decent cooking skills. Walking into the smell of Bro is always easy, almost comforting, but once the door is shut you feel small and suffocated. You make your way to the kitchen, pulling a bottle of apple juice out of the fridge. Bro is laying on the futon, acting as if he didn't notice you come in.

Quickly you hope over the back of the futon, landing expertly on his hip. You take a sip out of your apple juice and look down at him. He seems calm as he stares up at you, but you know he's not happy with your choice of seating.

"Sup Bro? Comfy?" You smirk teasingly, letting him know the poker face is unneeded.

"Not much you little shit. Just dealing with some extra weight, but I think I've done enough." He throws you off of him with a turn of his hips, chuckling lightly as you faceplant the ground and your ass is in the air. "Nice view kid."

"Shut up..." You mumble angrily and go to get up, just to hear him clear his throat. You know you can't move now.

"Nice try Davey, but stay put. I got such a nice view of that rump of yours. You're never home, so ya gotta let me get a look now." You let out a low groan and move a bit, letting your elbows support you. Trying to look back at him is a bit of a challenge, but you manage it. His mouth is pulled into the most mocking smirk you've seen in a long time.

-

Your name is -wait a fricking minute, you never use your name- you are Bro Strider, and you have the plushest rump right in front of you. You've missed the tush of your younger brother, no matter how wrong that sounds, and so you plan to admire it while he's actually around. With a slow movement you reach forward, patting his rump gently before landing a harsh slap on it mercilessly. You hear a moan leak from his lips and your smirk grows a size or two. You forgot how much Dave likes pain. You land one more smack on his backside and he keens forward, his elbows shaking.

Everything about Dave is perfect. His hair is glistening blonde in the light of the apartment, his back is arched as he stays propped on his elbows and knees, and his rump is plusher than any of the smuppets you've made. He should be proud of his rump. After a few more harsh smacks to it you massage it roughly, the muscles tender under both his tight jeans and your gloved hands. Most would say your feelings towards your younger brother are twisted, or completely sick, but you don't care. Three long years went by and he grew into his awkward proportions from childhood, now his rump was plush and he was lanky yet built. Nothing could beat the appeal of Dave. Except maybe the plushness of his old friend John. You hope that boy doesn't lose his ass while stuck with aliens.

You hear Dave mewl under his breath, your rubbing becoming less painful and more pleasurable. You change things up by grabbing his ass as you sit up straight, resting back against the futon. "Davey, wanna help your big bro out?" You see his head nod and he tries to look back at you. "Then come over here. You know what to do, kid."

"When you say kid to me it makes you seen like a pervert, old man." Dave grins at you, knowing exactly what you want, but he also intends to anger you while he's at it. He moves up onto his knees and turns around, crawling between your legs. You grab his hair and pull up to have him look at you.

"Who you callin an old man? Certainly not me. Ain't that right Davey?" He nods, his nose scrunched up due to the slight pain.

"Of course not bro. You're young and always so pristine." Dave gives you a small smile and lets you guide his face to your pants, his teeth clamping down on the zipper. He tugs it down slowly, nuzzling his face against your crotch lovingly.

"That's right Dave. I'm so pristine. I'm a young buck. A horse runnin in a race. Gonna beat everyone to the finish line." You chuckle lightly at the sight of his eyes rolling behind his shades. Those should come off. With that thought in your head you reach down and pull them off his face, tossing them to the side diligently.

"Bro, be careful with those. They are the holy grail of gifts. Like a gift from the imperial majesty himself. Egbert gave them to me." You shrug and pet his head gently, quieting him. He moves his hands forward, tugging down on your belt loops to tug your pants down your thighs. With a slight lift of your hips such a task was easy.  With your thighs bare of fabric -other than the slight brush of boxers towards the tops- you shiver; his hands rubbing the muscles tenderly. With a bit of movement he leans forward, mouthing you through your boxers, knowing exactly what he is doing.

"Shit, kid, don't be like that." He bites softly and hooks a finger around the elastic of your boxers, letting you fight the loss of your composure. His mouth is leaking warm air right onto your clothed erection and he already has it achingly hard. With a rough grab of his hair you groan lowly, barely audible enough for him to hear. But he hears it and pulls down on the elastic, exposing the head first and then the whole mass. He touches his lips to the head and laps at it, mewling against you softly.

After licking around your head appreciatively he takes the head into his mouth and sucks hard, swishing his tongue against the slit. You look down at him, meeting his exposed crimson eyes with your shade covered ambers.  His face is flushed and he's locking his fingers across the base of your cock. He's twisting his hands and sucking and you're fighting a really lame moan. But damn his mouth is small, and perfect. Like everything about him. You find yourself resting the back of your head against the back of the futon and you have a hand loose in Dave's hair, but such things aren't acceptable, so you tug and pull and let him know that you're very much in charge.

He takes your actions as encouragement and moves down your shaft, pressing the tongue against it teasingly. He hollows his cheeks and sucks after a few moments of torment. His head bobbing after a couple antagonizing grinds of his teeth. Low groans bellow in your throat and he suddenly speeds up, surprising you with his eager motions. You tug at his hair and groan, letting him know your close and he moves further down, enveloping you into his throat. He stops, allowing himself the chance to adjust and breathe and then swallows, making you lose it right there. He swallows down every last drop, milking you until the end, and then releases you from his mouth with a noisy pop. A smirk is shone up at you, his hand wiping his mouth slowly. He knows that he's unraveled you, and that's enough. He won't ask for more from a man that lost to his brother. He never does.

-

Your bro sure can be lame, but that doesn't stop you from loving him. You give him what he wants when he wants it, and you never have any complaints. You get up off your spot on the floor and straighten your shirt out, smirking down at the incredibly sexy man in front of you. He just lost to you, and he knows it. With a silent truce between you two you turn away, completely pleased with the unraveling of the old man that has managed to seduce you countless of times.

-

Your name is Dirk Strider and you just stood in the doorway to your apartment, and witnessed some brotherly love. You knew they did it, but damn you never knew Dave had it in him to make your elder look like he does. You just turn around and flashstep the hell out of there, figuring Roxy can get the good news first.


	6. Messing with Shoutkat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sollux gets some news from his hacker buddy, and he decides to mess with Karkat a bit too harshly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long >~>

Your name is Roxy Lalonde and your best friend just gave you the best news. You quickly secure a connection and message your hacker alien friend, telling him the news you've just received.

tispyGnostalgic [TG] began pestering twinArmageddons [TA] at 22:47

TG: hay we got soem news kiddo :3

TA: go ahead and tell me iit then, priince22.

TG: teh machien is up n runnin

TG: we shuld be abel 2 get u guys here :3

TG: tel all ur frends 2 get rady!! :3

TG: *ready

TG: u got a few days

TA: 2weet. 2ee you 2oon then, toot2.

twinArmageddons [TA] ceased pestering tispyGnostalgic [TG] at 22:53

\--

You admire the beauty of that girl's way around your codes. You've been putting up harder ones every time, but she just slips right past them. Everyone says that she is always intoxicated too, which you find interesting. So you're really looking forward to see how she does it hands on. You type out a few messages to some other trolls and then pause at Karkat's trolltag. You want to mess with him and his loverboy. You click on his tag with a smirk playing across your face. 

"Take thith you bulgemuncher." 

\--

John is just laying quietly, kind of put down after talking to his friend. You don't know if you want to disturb him, but your husktop is beeping, in low yet annoying octives, to let you know that some idiot is messaging you. He sits up off your arm, silently telling you to answer whoever it is. With a swift opening of your husktop, furrowing your brows, and stare at the message on your screen. 

twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 23:15

TA: kk ii got two tell you 2omethiing

TA: iit'2 really iimportant

CG: WHAT IS IT? DO NOT TELL ME ANY USELESS INFORMATION. I WILL NEVER UTTER ANOTHER SYLLABLE TO YOU IF YOU WASTE MY TIME WITH YOUR UTTER HOOFBEAST SHIT. 

TA: 2ounds promii2iing, but 2adly thii2 ii2 more iimportant than you never 2peakiing

TA: John ii2 leaviing. 2oon. 

CG: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN JOHN IS LEAVING?! WE ALL KNOW HOW THE GAME ENDED YOU IDIOTIC BUMBUS. HE'S STUCK ON THIS PATHETIC PIECE OF SPACE MASS WITH THE REST OF US.

TA: no, the human2 made a machiine. they plan on gettiing hiim back on earth

TA: that'2 all, bye lo2er.

twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 23:23 

You stare at your husktop and then over at John (of whom has fallen back to sleep in his boredom). No way could this be right. His idiotic friend would have told him. This whole situation is making your head spin. You don't want to lose him. . . Slamming your hands down on your husktop's keyboard releases a bit of your frustrations, but not enough. You groan and crawl beside John, not caring what he sees you as anymore. His waist is thin as you wrap your arms around him, nuzzling your face into the crook of his neck. 

Yeah, you don't care what he thinks anymore. He'll be gone soon. All your care about is the fact that you're sure you feel red for him.  


End file.
